If you’ve ever been on a cruise, you know how much fun they can be. Cruise ships are always improving their attractions and entertainment to provide the greatest possible experience on the sea for their customers. However, advertisements can be deceiving at times. There’s no denying that some ships are massive and luxurious beyond your wildest imagination. On the other hand, others can be cramped and claustrophobic, with mediocre entertainment that fails to meet your high expectations. Prepare yourself by reading this article, which delves into all the facts about taking a cruise.
Boarding A Ship – Expectations
This is the most thrilling section of the journey. You’ve brought all of your electronics, your nicest clothes, and pretty much anything else you could need on a cruise. When you first see the ship, it appears to be all you could have hoped for. Isn’t all that stands between you and that ship a lengthy pier and a few elevators and stairs? Not at all.
Boarding A Ship – Expectations
Boarding A Ship – Reality
The truth is you would have to queue for an hour just to gaze at the cruise ship you’ve been fantasizing about for months. It’s akin to hanging an ice cream cone in front of the face of a three-year-old. In addition, the boarding procedure takes an excessive amount of time. So if you thought standing in line at Disneyland is unpleasant, wait till you’re one of these passengers waiting to board.
Boarding A Ship – Reality
Hot Tub – Expectations
What could be better than a cruise ship’s rooftop hot tub? You imagine steam emerging from the sea as it floats past the neon lights’ brightness. You may unwind by yourself with plenty of room to spread your legs. You can effectively do a water aerobics session while watching the other vacationers on the deck mingle. However, we all know this isn’t the case.
Hot Tub – Expectations
Hot Tub – Reality
Going into the cruise ship hot tub is as depressing as seeing the fourth Harry Potter film. Do you have that extra legroom you were looking for? That’s something you can say goodbye to. “How many people can we cram into this thing before one of us feels too claustrophobic?” becomes a game in the hot tubs. So, if you’re booking a cruise because you want to soak in the rooftop hot tubs, be prepared to be disappointed.
Hot Tub – Reality
Pool Area – Expectations
A cruise ship’s pool area is usually one of its main selling factors. When you think of the pool on your cruise ship, it reminds you of a private pool on a beach with water slides, similar to the hot tub. On the top of your cruise ship, it’s almost like a water park, and you’re the only one who has to queue. That, however, is not the case.
Pool Area – Expectations
Pool Area – Reality
Instead, you must realize that everyone else is thinking the same way you are. For all vacationers, the pool is the most popular spot. It’s always crowded, and the pools are always smaller than they appear to be. Some ships have many pools so that everyone isn’t crammed into one location, but they’ll never live up to your expectations. Because that’s the reality, I hope you don’t mind other people’s kids asking you for a piggyback around the shallow end.
Pool Area – Reality
Bathrooms – Expectations
If you’ve never been on a cruise ship before, you’re probably unsure what to anticipate in terms of your bathroom. You probably compare it to what you’ve seen in hotel restrooms before forming an image in your mind. Will the counters be made of marble? Maybe a jacuzzi tub so you can at least fulfill your hot tub fantasies that you had for the rooftop?
Bathrooms – Expectations
Bathrooms – Reality
Unfortunately, you will not be satisfied with what you receive. There will be no marble on the counters. There’s nothing there but a filthy bathtub that appears to have survived World War One. Consider a bathroom at a youth hostel if you’re preparing to embark on a cruise and want to get a sense of what to expect. Of course, there are better bathrooms than this one, but it’s vital to keep your expectations in check.
Bathrooms – Reality
Ocean Sightseeing – Expectations
This is popular among cruise passengers in their fifties and sixties. When you’re sailing through the ocean blue, you expect to see dolphin pod after dolphin pod. You imagine yourself in a Sea World, but in the middle of nowhere. Some people believe cruise ships go through crowded regions of the ocean like they’re on a whale-watching trip. They are completely incorrect.
Ocean Sightseeing – Expectations
Ocean Sightseeing – Reality
If you’re serious about seeing the sights aboard a cruise ship, you should get used to open seas with nothing in sight. Unfortunately, people forget that the ocean is vast and that exotic ocean species aren’t performing acrobatics for cruise ship guests at all hours of the day. As a result, you’ll have to grow used to nothing but ocean, water, and more ocean, water, and nothing else. Please accept my apologies for the unfortunate news.
Ocean Sightseeing – Reality
Life Of An Employee – Expectations
Getting paid to live on a cruise ship sounds like a dream come true. You get to engage with people who are generally delighted to see you, and you also get to see a lot of lovely places along the road. It’s akin to being a pampered flight attendant. Working aboard a cruise ship appears to be glamorous and a dream from the outside. However, it’s not all that it’s talked up to be.
Life Of An Employee – Expectations
Life Of An Employee – Reality
First and foremost, if you thought the guest rooms were jail cells, you haven’t seen the employee rooms. They’re even smaller, and because the rooms are so small, people frequently sleep on bunk beds. They are required to work long hours and do not have the opportunity to see the various ports where the ship docks. Working on a ship is the polar opposite of relaxing and liberating.
Life Of An Employee – Reality
Destinations – Expectations
Many people forget to mention it when booking a cruise, although going to fun destinations is a big reason why people book in the first place. It’s not simply the prospect of spending a week on an all-inclusive yacht. The time spent aboard the boat is obviously enjoyable, but the locations you visit once you disembark are equally so. However, some of the destinations visited by cruise ships wind up being a great disappointment.
Destinations – Expectations
Destinations – Reality
Many people overlook the fact that when cruise ships visit an island on a daily basis, the island absorbs a significant amount of pollution from the ships. As a result, not every island will be breathtakingly lovely and scenic. If you’re going on a cruise, make sure you do your homework on the islands you’ll be seeing. It’s critical to look past the contrived photos presented by the travel business.
Destinations – Reality
Music Acts – Expectations
When you board a cruise ship, you may be startled by the musical acts that will accompany you on your journey. The nighttime agenda includes many entertainments, and cruise lines will spend a lot of money to bring prominent acts onboard. Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, Rascal Flatts, and Madonna are just a few of the celebrities who have performed on cruise ships. Professional acts, on the other hand, are extremely rare.
Music Acts – Expectations
Music Acts – Reality
If this is any indication of what to anticipate from cruise ship entertainment, you’re in for a ride of a lifetime. It’s crucial to research the performers on your cruise ship before booking, as you don’t want to be trapped with a bad act for the entire week. This guy isn’t Taylor Swift or Madonna, but we’re thankful that he’s probably giving it his all.
Music Acts – Reality
Seasickness – Expectations
If you’ve never been on a cruise or even a boat, you might not know what it’s like to get seasick. There’s always a chance you’ll get sick on a ferry, cruise ship, dinghy, or sailboat. When you buy a vacation online, it’s easy to imagine that sailing on a cruise ship is straightforward, but it’s not until you’re out on the open sea that you understand how difficult it can be.
Seasickness – Expectations
Seasickness – Reality
Seasickness is a very unpleasant sensation. When you’re aboard a cruise ship, you’re stuck since there’s nowhere to go to escape the sway of the water. It could be as simple as needing to use the restroom. Many trips have been entirely spoiled because the majority of passengers become seasick when the water is choppy. It’s a disaster.
Seasickness – Reality
Weather – Expectations
When it comes to cruises, the weather is usually the elephant in the room. Of course, the weather will have an impact on any tropical holiday, but cruise ships rely heavily on favorable weather. Whatever the case may be, promoters will only show you what the trip will be like if the weather is ideal. The photographs may be appealing, but the weather may frequently derail a cruise holiday.
Weather – Expectations
Weather – Reality
You must understand that Mother Nature is unconcerned about promotional photos, and the weather does not change its plans only to accommodate you and your family. We’d like to believe it, but it doesn’t. It won’t matter how hot the hot tub is if you’re in the middle of a tropical storm and can’t see more than five feet ahead of you due to the rain. Keep it that way if you’ve never been in a hurricane while in the middle of the ocean.
Weather – Reality
The Dining – Expectations
Some of the professional photographs we see on websites can influence our perceptions of what our cruise meals would be like. One of the most exciting aspects of being on a cruise is knowing that there are so many different dishes to try. For a three-star hotel, you’d expect five-star meals. Buffet tables are expected to be immaculate and unusual. At every buffet, you don’t want to ask, “How do I pronounce this dish?”
The Dining – Expectations
The Dining – Reality
Some of the things written earlier may be true. However, keep in mind that cruise ships are required to serve thousands of passengers three times a day. In order to do so, they’ll have to toss quality overboard. Unless you’re on a very pricey ship, you’ll probably be eating 80 percent of your meals from a cafeteria-style buffet throughout the week. You’ll need to be prepared for that.
The Dining – Reality
Age Range – Expectations
Meeting new people is one of the most appealing aspects of a cruise. It’s exhilarating just to think of being surrounded by individuals your own age and mixing with individuals who are somewhat older or younger. If you’re in your twenties or thirties, you’re hoping that the other passengers are within five or six years of your age. I hate to be the one to deliver terrible news, but…
Age Range – Expectations
Age Range – Reality
The major issue is that you have little control over who will accompany you on the cruise. Unless you sign up for one of those specialty cruises (which are far more expensive), you’ll most likely be hanging out with a bunch of people with whom you have no comparable interests. We’re not suggesting there’s anything wrong with it, but if you fantasize about making lifelong pals, keep in mind that they’ll be in a different tax bracket than you.
Age Range – Reality
The Ship – Expectations
If you recognize this cruise ship, it’s probably because it’s one of the most popular models offered on travel websites. We can understand why. It appears to be immaculate and imposing. We all wish we could board the ship tomorrow and set sail for some exotic islands since it shouts beauty. However, not many cruise ships are as gleaming and spotless as this one.
The Ship – Expectations
The Ship – Reality
Okay, you’re probably not going to be fooled into boarding this cruise liner (if you do, bless your ignorant soul). However, this is merely an attempt to raise awareness of the fact that there are some truly horrible cruise ships out there. Contrary to common assumption, there is a gray region between the world’s most beautiful cruise ships and the harsh ones that unhappily exist.
The Ship – Reality
The Captain – Expectations
If you’ve ever seen a maritime film, you’ll know how important captains are. The captain of the ship, more than anybody else, has the potential to spoil your cruise. If you want to travel from point A to point B, but your captain takes you from point A to point Z, you’re not going to have a good time. It’s important to remember that your captain is also a person.
The Captain – Expectations
The Captain – Reality
Even while we’d want to assume that the person who is single-handedly ferrying you out to the middle of the ocean has everything under control, they don’t. This is a photo of a cruise liner that sank, with the captain jumping off and leaving the passengers to fight for themselves. This is a real story from Italy. I need you to know that. Now, let’s take a look at the behind-the-scenes that former cruise employees shared.
The Captain – Reality
A Look Inside The Lives Of Cruise Workers
Want to explore the world without having to worry about finding a place to stay or eating? You do, of course! This is why working on a cruise ship is so appealing, but there’s another side to cruise ships that we don’t see. Someone is stuck ministering to your every need as you lounge by the pool or stuff your face with all-you-can-eat pizza. Those hand towel animals don’t come out of anywhere on your bed! Working on a cruise ship is similar to working in a floating hotel, and the service and hospitality sector is never simple. Read on for some behind-the-scenes secrets from previous cruise workers before you decide to fill out a job application and set sail!
A Look Inside The Lives Of Cruise Workers
You’re Always Being Watched
According to Gavin, a waiter on a major cruise line, Big Brother is “very real.” To put it another way, there are cameras all over the place. This is largely for your own protection, as you’re aboard a massive ship in the middle of the ocean. Though the next Titanic is unlikely, in the case of an emergency, crew members may be forced to check the security footage. “It is safe to assume if you are outside of your cabin you are probably on camera,” Gavin said. “In the event of any kind of emergency, they could pull security footage at any time.”
You’re Always Being Watched
Some Lead Double Lives
It’s a lot easier to get away with keeping certain huge secrets when you’re away for most of the year and shut off from the rest of the world. This is why so many cruise ship employees live double lives when they’re on board. It’s not uncommon for certain couples to arrive at sea with spouses at home and a completely different relationship. Being shut off from the rest of the world allows you to be yourself, rather than the person you feel obligated to be on land.
Some Lead Double Lives
Unattached To The World
Forget about watching your favorite TV shows. Working on a cruise ship makes it difficult to keep up with the news in general. As much as it hurts not to be able to watch your favorite team knock it out of the park next season, it’s sometimes impossible. At sea, internet access is notoriously pricey and inconsistent. When you dock, you often have to catch up, leaving days between when you get your news and when you don’t. As a result, many cruise personnel has stopped paying attention to the news, sports, and pop culture.
Unattached To The World
Speaking In Code
Passengers should not be alarmed; thus, crew members avoid doing so. Guests are on vacation and do not need to be informed of every minor emergency, especially if it is unrelated to them. What kind of panic would ensue if every passenger discovered there was a tiny fire on board? It’d be a disaster! As a result, staff members employ certain codes that can be announced over the loudspeaker without disturbing passengers. For example, “Code Adam” indicates that a child has gone missing, “Code Alpha” indicates a medical emergency, “Code Oscar” indicates that someone has fallen overboard, and “Code Bravo” indicates that the ship is on fire.
Speaking In Code
They Party Harder Than The Guests
Cruise ship crews live by the phrase “work hard, party hard.” Workers are most likely drinking and partying when they are not working. In fact, the crew has its own “crew only” bar with ridiculously low booze prices. For example, many ships charge roughly $15 a drink for passengers, but you can purchase a cocktail for less than $1.50 at the crew bar. The crew certainly knows how to party, but they must exercise caution. Employees on ships are occasionally subjected to a random breathalyzer and drug testing; however, this is not usually enforced.
They Party Harder Than The Guests
Not Allowed To Hook Up With Guests
Stay away from anyone who might be on vacation if you’re seeking a fun fling while on contract at sea. Hooking up with visitors is legally illegal aboard cruise ships, and it’s one of the quickest ways to lose your employment. In fact, according to an unnamed cruise worker, the crew is discouraged from engaging in one-on-one interactions with passengers. This protects the cruise line from any accusations that could damage the ship’s reputation. You’ll be thrown off at the next port if you’re caught disobeying the rules.
Not Allowed To Hook Up With Guests
Hook-Ups Still Happen
Crew members aren’t celibate at sea just because they can’t hook up with passengers. It’s the polar opposite. Crew members are known to get down and dirty with one another regularly. Consider this: you’re isolated aboard this ship for over a year, surrounded by the same individuals. You’re in a beautiful, exotic setting with plenty of booze. Hook-ups are inevitable, and according to one anonymous cruise staffer, they occur frequently. “People hook up all the time. There are a ton of crew parties,” he said. Hooking up is so common that posters promoting STD prevention are frequently shown in crew areas on ships.
Hook Ups Still Happen
They Pull Pranks On The Guests
At sea, things may get rather dull. Cruise participants play pranks on guests to liven up the monotony. The pranks are harmless, as teasing passengers too much is a surefire way to get fired. According to an anonymous cruise staffer who talked to Mental Floss, “A favorite was while in a passenger area say to another crew member, loud enough to be heard by passengers, ‘Meet you in the bowling alley tonight!’” Of course, there was no bowling alley on the ship. “Then we’d wait for the comment cards to come in: ‘Why do crew get a bowling alley when we don’t?’”
They Pull Pranks On The Guests
How They Fill Unsold Cabins
Cruise ships are staffed and ready to depart from the port with a full ship. If there are any unsold accommodations onboard, the cruise ship will lose money. Passengers can take advantage of this by browsing for a cheaper cruise experience. It’s a wonderful value for passengers if you’re ready and able to book with only 1-2 month’s notice and are satisfied with a cabin without a balcony. Subscribe to cruise line email lists to learn about these discounted accommodations. Another option is to go online one week after the cruise you want to go on’s final payment is due. Make a ‘mock booking,’ in which you may examine which cabins are available at a reduced price. This is when you’ll find cheap cabins.
How They Fill Unsold Cabins
They Have Different Cliques
A cruise ship might feel a lot like high school. Not everyone hangs out in the same place, and each ship has its own set of cliques. Because cruise ships often include a varied array of workers from all over the world, these cliques frequently have to do with countries of origin. Cruise personnel refers to their cliques as “mafias,” and each is known for something distinctive. One former cruise ship employee told Mental Floss that the Filipino mafia on their ship was notorious for acquiring wine after hours (crew bars close around one or two). Of course, they’d charge a hefty premium for it.
They Have Different Cliques
Emergencies Can Be Disgusting
Everyone has heard the urban legend about a cruise ship serving poor shrimp and the entire ship contracting food poisoning to the point where it couldn’t contain all of the vomit. This is an extremely unusual occurrence, yet it can happen. After a fire in the engine room, a Carnival cruise liner lost power in 2013. Passengers were trapped long enough in the Gulf of Mexico for the sewage to back up. They formed a tent city away from toxic-smelling spots as raw sewage began to bubble up all over the boat, and the stench was so awful that people established a tent city.
Emergencies Can Be Disgusting
Not All Cabins Are Created Equal
If you work on a cruise ship, you won’t get your own luxury stateroom, but your position has an impact on your accommodations. On the A-Deck, slightly above water, staff and officers have individual rooms (hello, sunlight). However, according to Anthony Andrieux, who worked on board the Royal Caribbean Line, most workers’ living conditions were not quite as pleasant. “The living situation was ‘tight.’ You stay on the lower deck so you are always under water. There are no windows in the room… You have a very small bunk bed that you literally can not fit someone else into (trust me I have tried). You can touch all four walls if you were to stand in the center of the room to give you an idea. I believe it is a total of about 10 square feet.”
Not All Cabins Are Created Equal
They Are Trained To Handle Pirate Attacks
We don’t commonly think of pirates today, although they are very much alive and well. A pirate taking over a massive cruise ship is extremely rare (really, there’s strength in numbers). In the event that this occurs, cruise crew members are prepared to fight back. Princess Cruises and Oceania Cruises educate their crews to move passengers away from windows and spray intruders with massive water cannons. The tremendous volume of water used by cruise ships could easily overwhelm a small pirate ship. Long Range Acoustic Devices, which make loud, painful noises, can even deter attacks on some ships.
They Are Trained To Handle Pirate Attacks
You’re Basically Owned By The Cruise Line
After becoming the first American working for the Carnival Cruise Line to not quit before his contract expired, former cruise worker Brian David Bruns released the book Cruise Confidential in 2015. The feeling of being a property of the cruise company was the worst part of Brian’s trip. He said, “The worst part of the job is being ‘owned’ by the corporation…They control what you eat, when you eat, when you can go use the toilet, how cold it is in your cabin, everything.” Yikes!
You’re Basically Owned By The Cruise Line
They Eat Leftovers
Crew members are at the bottom of the food chain; thus, they only get scraps. It’s similar to what you’d see in a high school cafeteria, but sometimes far worse. Because they don’t have much to work with, the culinary staff gets inventive, but it’s not something you’d want to eat all of the time. Imagine having to eat unusual dishes like goat foot stew on a regular basis! Passengers’ leftovers are served to lucky ship passengers. They’re allowed to eat what’s left of a passenger buffet at the end of a shift, albeit it’s so wonderful that it doesn’t last long.
They Eat Leftovers
They Get Weird Requests
Strange anecdotes abound in the service and hospitality business. You never know what you’re going to get, so be prepared for the unexpected. When at sea, cruise ship crews are used to receiving strange demands from passengers. According to USA Today, a cruise ship employee receives weird requests from young couples aboard the ship regularly. It’s more usual than startling at this point. “Some young couples ask, ‘Could you make some towel animals for adults?’ They want naughty animals,” she said. “I say, ‘Sorry, I cannot give you that.’”
They Get Weird Requests
They Get Big Tips
Much like being a bartender, the majority of a cruise ship worker’s cash comes from tips. It may be difficult to get tips if you don’t have a lively, outgoing attitude, but don’t worry. The majority of cruise lines impose a required gratuity that is shared among all crew members. When it comes down to it, the money is actually rather decent. Many workers save money by sending money home to their families. Onboard the ship, there are essentially no expenses; thus, living on the cheap is simple. It’s true that a little goes a long way.
They Get Big Tips
No Day Offs
If you value your weekends, avoid working on a cruise ship at all costs. The majority of cruise ship crew members do not get a single day off. They are usually hired for nine months at a time and work continuously. However, it isn’t completely bad. Every day, but on a rotational basis, the workforce works. Instead of taking entire days off, employees are given hours of free time each day to spend on themselves. When their contract expires, they are entitled to a two-month vacation. Consider what you could accomplish if you had two months off.
No Day Offs
You Will Be Left Behind
The nicest part of a cruise is the land excursions. Who wouldn’t want to see all of the beautiful cities you’ll be visiting? Guests (and crew members with a few hours off) are free to roam the ship as they wish, but they must return on time. You will be left behind on cruise ships. If cruise ships linger in port for longer than their allocated time, they face steep penalties. As a result, they will not wait if you are late. You’re completely on your own if you miss the departure time.
You Will Be Left Behind